The Palm Tree Express – A Trip to the Never-Never
A wild-card ride to the soul of paradise.

Welcome aboard.

The Palm Tree Express is a myth wrapped in margarita madness—a full-throttle, tequila-laced, soul-bending ride straight into the heart of freedom. Part rogue philosophy, part gonzo travelogue, part spiritual hustle—it’s not a story that you read, it’s one you experience.

Meet Memphis—part-time pirate, storyteller, rule-bender, bikini-lover, and reluctant spiritual outlaw—who drinks, seduces, and charms his way through the Mexican Caribbean. Along the way, he hustles a bag of mysterious pirate medallions from a washed-up Axl Rose lookalike, and everything changes.

Those medallions become the Tenets of Paradise—ten symbols forged in freedom, rum, suntans, salvation, and soul-revealing sex. Ten reminders that real paradise isn’t something you find, but something that you create.

Paradise is a decision, not a destination.
And once you decide, there’s no return flight.

Experience:

• How Ed used the Tenet of Harmony to avoid dinner with the in-laws and was rewarded with pitchers of margaritas and bikini sex with his wife instead.
• A tequila-fueled hustle for pirate treasure (and bragging rights).
• Dancing the Watusi under a palm tree in a rainstorm with a woman who forgot to call home, or a naked moonlit swim that may or may not end like Jaws.
• The secret of “alien coconuts” and other cocktail-napkin revelations.
• That unscripted road trips lead to the discovery of life’s purpose.
• A final chapter so outrageous, intimate, and raw, you’ll wonder if any of this is fiction—or the newest testament.

Threaded with real misadventures, tall tales, outlaw wisdom, and 40+ pages of lush visual imagery—each paired with quotes from the high priests of wanderlust (Kerouac, Márquez, Hemingway, Thompson)—this book dares you to face reality and live the life you want, not the one you have.

You don’t need to be rich. You don’t need to be dead. You just need to be willing to swap your parkas for board shorts and flip-flops. You just need the courage to go, man, go! And most importantly, you need Ten Bucks!

In Paradise We Trust. In Paradise We Party. In Paradise We Live.

Reader’s Warning: If you don’t like to rock, this book is not for you.

Excerpt:

I woke up terribly late for living in the tropics—around 9 a.m. on a Saturday. A throbbing pain in my head. An uneasy stomach. An unfamiliar room. A naked stranger beside me, snuggly… and slightly terrifying. I feared that even lifting my head would summon last night’s kangaroo burger back into the world. And yet, somehow, we were both smiling. I walked out later, hungover and euphoric, to buy a new shirt, shorts, sandals—and maybe a new version of myself. I wasn’t looking for anything. But that’s the thing about the other side of the world. You don’t always need to be looking to find something.  

Palm Tree Express Special Editions:

There are several versions of the Palm Tree Express available for purchase:
A Paradiste (Light version) Full Content, reduced download size, approximately 70 MB
A Premium (Full version) Full Content, complete download size, approximately 240 MB
A Personalized (Full version) Full Content, with your photo on the cover + more complete download size, approximately 240 MB
The BOOKENING Version (Light version) with a reading resolution included. Read the eBook, write an honest review, and receive a free eBook from Smoking Turtle ePress.