There is a tequila secret down south in this part of Mexico. This secret is only whispered late at night on a deserted beach.

Let’s listen in now…

“Oh, Pedro, I don’t have a bathing suit, and I am afraid of the sharks at night.”

Pedro whispers, “Señorita, that is not a problem. I assure you. It is a secret here that those who swim naked after drinking tequila will not be bitten by the sharks. The sharks hate the taste of tequila. It is true on my mother’s soul, I swear.”

The naïve Señorita giggles, “Is that true, Pedro?”

“Well, love, I know the tequila part is, but I am not one hundred percent sure about the no-no to bikinis. But the way I think of it, why take a chance, Sí, Señorita?”

“Hehe, okay, Pedro, hand me the tequila and turn your back to me so I can undress.”

Pedro turns his back on the lovely Señorita and, lying through his grinning teeth, he replies as believably as he can, ‘Sí, Señorita, I will not turn around, I promise.’  

*Author’s Note: Originally published in my unpublished memoirs, “Things Men Say to Get Laid.”